Junior Year
by myfriendfiction
Summary: Why did Jade dye her hair black and what was it like spending Thanksgiving with Beck's family? How did Jade really feel when she gave Beck that ultimatum and when he didn't open the door? How did she cope with being around her ex boyfriend after the breakup? All these questions and more are answered in the pages of Jade's journal entries from her junior year of high school. Enjoy
1. Chapter 1

_This is a story in my Victorious high school series. Junior year is proceded by Freshman Year and Sophomore Year. Senior Year is next. In my story Junior Year I once again use Jade's journal entries to explain Jade's perspective on the events of her life. Junior Year follows season three, more or less. I change the order of episodes, add events, and alter some plot lines to better fit my plot at large. My goal is that Jade's perspective is told and is in character. Another one of my goals is that I portray an average high school experience for our group of friends in Victorious. That accounts for why I alter some of the plot lines to make it more realistic. Here goes..._

**Junior Year**

**Chapter 1**

**Snow White or Ozzy Osborne August 2011 **

I dyed my hair black. I was bored. I had scissors in my hand as I was cutting up some paper and I was tempted to cut my hair. But that would be bad and I do have like an ounce of self control so I went to the store and got black hair dye. It really pissed off my dad when he saw it. He said it was unnessary and asked if I was going for a Snow White look because I failed and looked more like Ozzy Osborne. That pissed me off. I told him I was going out. He didn't care since he hates me anyway. I ended up at Beck's, of course. He could tell I was upset. I shouldn't let my father upset me but I can't help it so I was angry and sad at the same time, which is never a good combination. Beck made feel better and told me he liked it. He even said we could watch The Scissoring as long as I would cheer up.

**First Day of Junior Year August 2011**

Today was the first day of junior year. The best thing about junior year is that Trina Vega is a senior and next year I will be a senior and Trina will no longer torture the halls of Hollywood Arts with her talentless, excruciating, vain, and stupid self. Of course, Robbie kicked off the start of junior year in the creepy way that only Robbie can. The freak walked up to Beck and I and said, "Hello good lookin!" Beck assumed that Robbie was saying that to me and told Robbie, "Dude you know you shouldn't tell someone their good looking when their boyfriend is standing right next to them". I had assumed that Robbie was saying that to Beck and was about to give Robbie his first smack of junior year. However, Robbie explained that he was saying it to both of us. Like that makes it any less weird. Beck and I walked away in shame that we associate ourselves with the boy.

**Helen Back Again August 2011**

Hollywood Arts got a new principal, Ms. Helen. She wants us to all re audition. If we do not pass then we get kicked out of school. I chose to look at this tyrant's plan as a challenge. I gave the best audition. I wrote, directed, and stared in my own short horror film. It successfully scared and scarred everyone. I will forever cherish the look of terror on Sikowitz's face. I hope to one day bring that look of terror upon the faces of everyone that watches my horror films. That is my dream. My other dream is that Tori Vega gets kicked out of school and our lives. That dream was so close to happening. Tori Vega was kicked out of school. I was in shock. Then, everyone, including my boyfriend, decided that Tori Vega deserved to stay. They talked to our new tyrant and discovered that Tori Vega did not get kicked out. It was a mix up and Trina Vega was supposed to kicked out of school. I was disappointed that Tori got to stay but plenty satisfied that Trina got kicked out. Honestly, Tori is 100 times more talented than Trina. Trina no longer attending HA would be a blessing upon all of our ears. Everyone would win. So why did everyone lose? Tori decided to enact a plan that made Helen allow Trina to stay at Hollywood Arts. In conclusion, Tori must be half deaf and an idiot to form and carry out a plan to allow her deaf tone talentless annoying sister to stay at Hollywood Arts.

**Begging On Your Knees August 2011**

Tori started dating senior Ryder Daniels. I know just about everything that goes on at this school. I know that Ryder Daniels dates a lot of girls. Ryder Daniels dumps a lot of girls. He's considered the hottest most popular senior. Obviously there has to be a catch. He's hiding something. Naïve Vega didn't think there was a catch. Guess what? Ryder was hiding something. He only dates girls that can help him with a project. Once the project is over (and after a few trips to the back seat) he dumps the girl, claiming that they were a great team but that was all. They would be better off as friends. I warned Vega but she did not believe me. She claimed that I just don't want her to be happy, which is probably true. However, I know what I'm talking about. I am dating the hottest most popular junior. I always thought that Beck wanting to go out with me was strange. I thought that he must be hiding something. His transparent locker must be a sham. I turned out to be correct. He was hiding something, he's from Canada. Beck claims that he was never hiding his homeland, it had just not come up immediately in our relationship. I know I am exaggerating because Beck's secret is quite insignificant compared to Ryder's secret but I was still right. Tori was devastated that Ryder was a liar. I did not feel sorry for her because she should have listened to me. Before we went to Tori's house Beck told me to be on my best behavior. When we got there I made some sarcastic comments aimed at Tori. I know she was hurting and she has helped me when I was hurting, I just can't help myself sometimes. Beck put me in time out. He claimed that it was so that I wouldn't say anything else that would get me in trouble. I also listened to him and sat on the steps. Why do I listen to him? I don't know. Sometimes I really like when the calm Beck gets authoritative. Other times I know he is looking out for me. He just has an effect on me, not that I would ever tell him. In case you're wondering I gave Beck the silent treatment. We stopped for coffee and pie on the way home and this morning he gave me a cactus so I'll it go.

**Venting Time August 2011**

Time to vent! Beck took me out to dinner tonight. I told him to order for me since I had to go to the restroom and he ordered me a salad. You only order a salad if you think someone is fat. He assured me that he does not think I'm fat. He only ordered me a salad because I didn't tell him what I wanted and he thought that I ordered a salad last time we ate at this restaurant. Unbelievable, he should be able to read my mind by now. I wanted the chicken sandwich.

**The Breakfast Bunch September 2011**

We all got detention. It's all Robbie's fault but I'm sure that's not surprising. Juniors and seniors are allowed to go off of campus for lunch but you have to sign in and out at the office. It is a big hassle so we don't do it too often. It was Friday and since the school year hasn't been in session for long it is the last week we have to breathe before the chaos of auditions, projects, and plays begins so we all decided to reward ourselves with a lunch out. We went to Nozu down the street from HA. Robbie started chocking on his sushi roll so we were late getting back. Our punishment was detention with Vice Principal Vickers on Saturday. Vickers isn't really interested in the arts, he's interested in being an asshole. Rumor has it, and he will back it up, that the district brought him into HA so that he could shore up the academics and discipline on the artsy and eccentric students of HA. The district wants to ensure that HA is not only known for the arts but also for the rigorous academic standards. Those words are paraphrased from the first of the year assembly Vickers spoke at this August. I've gotten detention a few other times for my attitude. Since Vickers took over detention he calls your parents if you get detention so there is no chance to forge a signature. My mom was annoyed I got in trouble but did not further lay into me because at least this time it wasn't my attitude that got into trouble. Beck got grounded all weekend so I am sitting here and writing this instead of spending time with him. His parents took his phone and computer so that we can't communicate in any way. I bet his parents have him doing yard work and stuff right now. Once he was ten minutes late for curfew so his parents made him spend the rest of the weekend doing yard work, meticulously cleaning the house, and doing yard work for the elderly lady down the street. He also got stuck talking to the old lady for an hour and a half.

First, we have to pick up any litter from outside, which we finished in about five minutes. Then, Vickers makes us sit in the library. He sits in his office down the hall doing whatever. As long as we are quiet he only checks on us every 30 minutes. He hasn't figured out that we know his routine. We are supposed to write an essay about what we learned in detention. In the past we had to do some cleaning but that was stopped when the guitar players were caught sniffing the cleaning products. We were unbelievably bored. We used the phone in the library to call Trina so she could bring us tacos. An all day detention meant that the school had to feed us, unfortunately school food is often disgusting and the only thing on today's menu was reheated chunks of chicken floating in what was supposed to be gravy, peas, and a bruised apple. We snuck to Trina's locker, where Trina dropped off the tacos. Cat and Robbie were wimps and thought we were making a big mistake by leaving the library. We had to sneak around the slippery hallways avoiding Dickers, who was roaming the halls, stopping to dance every once in a while. At one point Dickers was headed back to the library so Tori created a distraction so that we could all get back to the library. We chose Tori to create a distraction because she was the least likely to get in trouble. She told Dickers that she was looking for him because she wanted to ask him a question. Vickers scolded her, without listening to her question and then sent her back to the library.

As we ate we sat around looking for conversation or something to break up the boredom. Tori showed us some weird foot trick with an arrow, Cat drew us each a picture (they look like the artist is five, it concerned us all), Robbie and Rex tried to do stand up until we threatened to lock him in the library bathroom, Andre started run dancing like a crazy person, Beck fell asleep, and I used by scissoring skills to do paper crafts. At one point we got so bored that we started talking about personal things. Andre confessed that he was scared he would never make it as a musician and felt pressure to make it so he wouldn't let down his family. Cat confessed that her brother is really weird and not mentally sane. We already knew that. She then confessed that she knew something about Beck and didn't know if Beck knew it. He confusingly asked her what and she confessed that Beck is adopted. He already knew that as did all of us, it's not exactly a secret. I mean his parents are older white people. She really doesn't get how this works. Tori confessed that her mom turns into an idiot flirt when her dad's partner is near. Finally, Vega has a bump in the perfect path that is her life. Robbie confessed something about crying. I wasn't paying attention him. He also thinks his dad doesn't like to take him out in public because he is embarrassed of him and Rex. Even I confessed something. My dad's probably embarking on his second divorce and my mom's probably getting ready to remarry, he's a nice guy but I don't want her to remarry, I like it just being the two of us. Beck confessed that he's not getting along with his parents very well and their pressuring him to look into all kinds of colleges, even in Canada. They want him to apply to an all boys acting camp in Maine for this summer. I know that is all because of me.

We all agreed that we don't want to end up like our parents. Beck and I ended up splitting away for a bit and talking about his parents plans. He claimed that we're only starting junior year so we still have some time before we have to worry. We both admitted that we hoped to go to college together, which made us blush to be talking about the future. I told him the acting camp sounded like a great opportunity and I would really miss him over the summer. But we could be old fashioned and write letters and have awesome "I'm so glad to see you, It's been so long sex". We didn't vocalize that we both knew the reason his parents wanted to send him to an expensive all boys summer acting camp across the country, they didn't want us spending the entire summer together. They want Beck to see all of the opportunities out there for a young man, opportunities he may miss out on being in a serious relationship. We both tried to awkwardly change the subject; we're not very good at such intimate talk. We ended up making out in the philosophy section of the library. We can't really make out anymore without it turning into more so we had sex. What, we were in the philosophy section, no one ever goes there so it's rather discreet, and we had eleven minutes before Vickers checked on us again. We've never done it in such a public place before and it was pretty exciting. Beck tried to say we couldn't do it there but his protest didn't last long. His defense was weak since he really has a problem with only looking and not touching. Beck was in shock after so I gave him a little slap back into reality. We rejoined the others with a few moments to spare before Vickers came to check on us. No one suspected anything, well maybe Andre did because he is the only one that is not a naive idiot and when he saw us come back a bit out of breathe he was grinning like an idiot. He avoided a swift kick to the shin by me for not saying anything.

Thanks to Cat and Vega's insistence we played truth or hot sauce. If you didn't want to pick truth you had to swallow hot sauce, and could not drink any water after. They didn't want to play truth or dare because they knew I would assign them with dangerous or humiliating dares. Cat couldn't handle the hot sauce so she stuck to truth. Everyone but Andre and I chose really lame and safe questions for truth, so what was even the point of playing? Cat giggled, Tori looked apprehensive, and Robbie looked nervous. Here is a little dialogue to prove how lame the game was;

Cat to Beck: Do you want to marry Jade when you grow up?

Beck:Sure.

Cat giggled and batted her eyelashes while Beck and I snuck a glance at each other and then blushed.

Cat to Tori: How many boys have you kissed?

Tori: Three. (She better not have included Beck!)

Andre to Robbie: How many girls have you kissed?

Robbie: Well, my first kiss was at Hebrew school when I was nine. Rachael Cohen kissed me on the slide. Then, Andy came by with ice cream and she never talked to me again. Trina and Cat kissed me. Thank you, ladies. Last week I gave a lady at my nana's nursing home mouth to mouth. (Mouth to mouth counts as kissing in Robbie's mind…..disturbing.) Rex: You're leaving out one kiss. Robbie: No I'm not Rex, leave me alone. (They argued for about two minutes until Robbie finally gave in).

Robbie: Ok! I did leave out one kiss. One time at summer camp this kid, Kurt, kissed me on the dock of the lake. He drowned the next day. (Cat and Tori expressed how sad that was until they erupted into laughter joining the rest of us.) Oh my goodness! I've never even been the one to initiate the kiss and I don't really want to count the mouth to mouth experience. I've always been so taken by surprise I've never even got to put my hands on their waist or stand on one leg and raise the other in an acute angle like in the movies.

Beck: Man, boys don't do that leg thing in the movies or real life. But, I'm sure one day you'll get a chance to go for it, the kiss not the leg thing.

Me to Cat: Cat do you think a non stage kiss from Robbie would be disgusting? Cat: No. (Insert blushing and giggling). (You're welcome Robbie).

Tori to Beck: Do you ever feel like you don't fit in with your family since your adopted?

Beck: Yeah, sometimes. (Thanks, Tori for bringing up what bums out my freakishly calm boyfriend). Tori: Do know anything about your birth parents and do you ever think about finding them?

Beck: All I know is my birth mother was Indian, my father was white, and they lived in Canada. I don't know if I ever want to meet either of them. I feel like if I did and it didn't go well I'd never be able to undo it. It might be like opening up a can of worms. If I went looking for them I know my parents would be supportive but I know it would hurt their feelings. I know they've given me a good life so maybe some things are left better unexplored.

Andre to Jade: When did you and Beck do the deed for the first time? (That is how Andre, your typical perverted teenage boy got to gloat and embarrass me and Beck for knowing our dirty little secret about what happened in the philosophy section an hour ago). Jade: Let's just say allegedly it occurred when you were busy calling out bingo numbers at your grandma's senior center instead of hanging out at the beach with Zoë Miller like you were planning. You spent a month cozying up to her and laying that ground work so you could spend the summer spreading lotion on those sun kissed shoulders and dating her but you ended up calling bingo numbers and she ended up in a cabana with Derrick Washington. Now you're a lonely boy. (I knew Beck wasn't thrilled that I basically admitted we were having sex but I know he was pleased that I got back at Andre by telling everyone about Zoe Miller because Andre was still super bitter about it).

Beck to Andre: So, how far did you get with the girl that you took to prom? (I was so proud of my boyfriend for that question. I totally wanted to take him to the philosophy section again.I must be rubbing off of him). Tori: It was a prome. Jade: Shut up and let Andre talk.

Andre: Well, she was crazy but I'm a hormonal teenage boy so I couldn't resist the temptation. She wanted to do something to me. I was dropping her off so we were in my car. Her dad came out. He was furious and thought it was my entire fault. Luckily my doors automatically lock so he couldn't get in the car, but he wanted to so he could beat me. I sped off and crazy was still in the car. A few blocks away I kicked her out of the car and sped home. She kept calling me until like June and I told her to lose my number. She finally stopped calling me. I heard she's pregnant and a Northridge dude is the baby daddy. I really dodged a bullet on that one.

The game was then over and we sat in silence for the last twenty minutes of detention. We were all slightly embarrassed and uncomfortable.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Who Did it to Trina October 2011 **

Trina was starring in the one act play Tori was directing for playwriting class. I actually feel a little sorry for Tori. Due to familial loyalty she had to cast the untalented Trina in her play. I would feel more sorrow if Tori's suffering didn't make me want to smile like Cat in a candy factory. I went to the play with Cat because I had nothing better to do. It was my dad's weekend and Kelly's family was at the house for the weekend. My father was working late so if he wasn't at home I felt there was no reason for me to bother showing up. He didn't have to work late he just didn't want to be around them. Beck's aunt and her family were moving to a new house so he had to help them move. He was going to be occupied all weekend so I was spending the majority of the weekend with Cat. I appeared at my dad's house long enough so that my dad couldn't complain too much about not showing up for family time. Like he should talk! I came over Sunday afternoon, ate lunch with them, and stayed in my room until dinner time doing "homework". I was really alternating in between reading, writing, and watching the video I posted online of Trina's stunt gone wrong, her dangling from the ceiling, and being flung into the set. It was hilarious. It was worth the time we had to spend in Lane's office while he interrogated us trying to figure out who broke Trina's gamble. I wasn't surprised that I was a suspect. I mean I would jump at a chance to ruin Tori's play or anything related to Tori but I didn't do it. It was decided that it was just an old piece of equipment so no one got punished, which was disappointing. I was really hoping sweet sally peaches Tori Vega had done it.

**Terror on Cupcake Street October 2011**

The gang got involved with this lame parade. It would be shown on local t.v. I wanted nothing to do with it. I eventually got involved with it. I claimed that I wanted in on it because it was going to be on tv but that wasn't the truth. See, Beck was sent to buy coconuts for Sikowitz while the gang was agreeing to participate in the parade. He later found out about the parade from Cat who wanted all of her friends involved. Cat begged Beck until he agreed to be in the parade. He is such a pushover. Beck then tried to talk me into joining the parade so he wouldn't have to be on a stupid float all day without me there to make it more bearable. He's probably the only person on the planet that has uttered the words that I could make something more bearable. I refused yet somehow he talked me into it. He may be a pushover but he can be very convincing. Anyways, the stupid truck with the float on the back broke down in a sketchy neighborhood. Sikowitz abandoned us like usual and got arrested. Beck and Andre went to get help but came back after being jumped by some guys. Those guys better hope they don't run into me. I wasn't thrilled that Beck wanted to go get help but I read in my mother's cosmo that you shouldn't emasculate your guy by trying to protect him or going with him when he is trying to save the day. His masculine urge to save the day was also pretty hot. Meanwhile while the boys were gone, Tori had already left and soon came back with help. I allowed Tori to go by opening the door. I thought I should stay behind and protect the others. So Tori saved the day again. Hoo freaking ray! For the record I noticed that the diner across the street opened up and I figured Tori would notice and go there for help. It is not my fault that she did not notice and wandered around until she found help in an alley.

**31 Horror Movies October 2011**

Halloween is my favorite holiday. Beck and I just finished watching 31 horror movies for the month of October. It was my idea. We watched The Scissoring twice, so it was actually 32 movies! I wanted to watch The Scissoring Two again but Beck distracted me with his lips. I even made Halloween cookies. Beck's mom saw me give them to Beck and seemed displeased. She said my cookies were rather graphic. What's that suppose to mean? What are Halloween cookies suppose to look like if not graphic? Last weekend Beck took me to a movie in the Hollywood graveyard. That makes a girl happy! It was a dark and cool night. An old movie was playing, Dracula. We drank coffee cuddled up and watched the movie. I could not think of a more perfect date! Halloween night I wanted to toilet paper houses but Beck said no. We had to end up taking Cat trick or treating, her mom asked us too. It is certainly strange to take a teenage girl trick or treating. Luckily, Cat acts, dresses, and looks like a ten year old. Her mom gave me twenty bucks so I did it. Her parents have been really busy with her brother. He's in a "special hospital" in San Diego so they haven't been home much. This means that Cat has been hanging out with me more and spending the night at my house more often because she can't sleep alone in her house. What a baby. We should have put her on a leash because we constantly had to tell her to slow down or quiet telling strangers her life story and to not hug strangers just because they gave her candy! She should be grateful for what I am doing. She had the gull to be upset with me when I cut her off of candy for the night. She then sniffled for a good ten minutes. I later found out that Beck got her to stop sniffling by giving her a piece of candy behind my back.

**Song Drama (Jade Gets Crushed) November 2011**

Tori was busy so Andre asked me to help him finish writing a song and record the vocals for his song writing class. I wasn't thrilled with being second choice but Beck talked me into doing it. He explained that if I did helpful things, like help Andre with his song, I would be first choice more often. So I agreed to help Andre. I was suppose to meet Andre in the music lab but Sinjin sat on my favorite scissors and his bony behind made them lose their sciss. I was furious as I made my way to the music lab. Beck was there, to say goodbye to me for the day, and calmed me down. He promised to sharpen my scissors for me. Andre had writers block and was being annoying by trying to give up on the assignment. I don't like quitters. I got him refocused and taught him this little hand trick that makes your hand all tingly. It's something Beck did once when I had writers block. I ended up writing most of the lyrics and we finally recorded the lyrics just in time before the janitor had to lock up the music lab. While we were finishing the lyrics Andre started acting kind of weird. Usually he's really laid back and smooth but he kept fumbling his words and he seemed really nervous. He even said that he would email the finished song via the internet. Via the internet. It sounds like something an old grandma would say. Maybe he spends too much time around his grandma. Side note: Andre's grandma thinks I'm a vampire so whenever we have group assignments together we can't go to his house because it freaks his grandma out and then everything smells like garlic.

Beck thought he was acting strange too. I guess writers block does weird things to people. Writers block usually makes me either bitchy or really sad. I guess it makes Andre wonky. I was supposed to sing the song we wrote with Andre at the full moon jam but he texted me saying that he changed his mind. Our song was great and got him an A+ for song writing class but he wasn't feeling it for the full moon jam. He was going to sing a song with Tori. Naturally, I was pretty upset that Tori was chosen over me yet again. I've known Andre since freshman year and our song got him an A+. I couldn't understand why that wasn't good enough for him. Beck didn't understand either and asked him about it. I was upset that Beck confronted Andre and I let him know that. I can handle my own affairs but I let it go because I know Beck hates confrontation. Beck reported that Andre was scared to sing with me because I scared him with the whole throwing scissors thing. So I forgive Andre since he was scared of me and that's why he picked Tori. It still doesn't add up. I mean after we got to work he seemed fine for a while until he got all wonky. After I threw the scissors I didn't do anything else scary. I was actually pretty nice. I mean I helped him get over writers block. I guess that night he must have had nightmares of me throwing the scissors. Whatever. The song he sang with Tori was good but our song would have been better.

**Thanksgiving with the Olivers November 2011**

Thanksgiving was today, although I don't know what everyone was so thankful about. The Olivers invited my mom and I over for Thanksgiving dinner since they found out it was only going to be the two of us this year. I am not one to turn down time spent with Beck and my mom thinks it is a good idea to be friendly with the Olivers so that is how dinner happened. Beck's grandparents from Canada were down and his aunt,uncle, and cousins that live in LA were there as well. Since it was my first thanksgiving with the family they selected me to give the Thanksgiving prayer. My prayer was not well received. I don't know why I just told the truth. I had never been given the responsibility of the thanksgiving prayer so I guess my first endeavor was a failure.

Here goes my prayer (paraphrased more or less): Dear God, I don't believe anyone at this table goes to church regularly but since it's the holidays you get to hear from us. Don't judge us too harshly or send us a plague for our hypocritical actions. We will be glutinous with food today even though so many people in the world do not have any, particularly all of the people we have used to become more prosperous as a nation. All of our holiday food drives may alleviate our conscience this time of year but our designer outfits, manicured nails, and expensive cars make us look like hypocritical selfish people that will burn in the fires of hell. We may even give to charity but really enjoy that tax deduction that it comes along with. Then I started to say some stuff about the puritans and Native Americans. I also had some statistics about the deaths that occurred that long hard winter in which Thanksgiving started, the subsequent deaths that occurred within the tribes of the new world, and what it is like to freeze to death.

Then, Beck and my mom rudely interrupted me. As Beck's aunt scolded me I told her not to get so upset she might pop a button on her prada sweater, his uncle then berated me, while his cousins cried, my mother gulped down her wine, and Beck's parents tried to shove food down everyone's throats. Eventually everyone started to calm down and eat after Beck diffused the situation by apologizing on my behalf. According to him I didn't mean to be so harsh or graphic. "I express my thankfulness through remembering bad things and reflecting on them. I didn't mean to say anyone here was a hypocrite I was just saying how there are many hypocrites in the world. Right Jade." Beck said all of this and elbowed me to agree. I couldn't refuse his pleading brown eyes so I said yes and reluctantly quietly said I was sorry. After dinner the women went to clean up and the men went to watch football. I guess it's a good thing I was interrupted before I got to the part about sexism in my prayer. Afterwards, we played Pictionary and some other games. I won Pictionary. His aunt and uncle were not pleased I had won. Before dessert Beck and I took a walk. He wasn't mad about my prayer but explained to me why I couldn't be so honest around certain people. I thought honesty was supposed to be the best policy. He suggested that when I am around his family I should use my acting skills to not be quite so honest. Whatever!

**2****nd**** Year Anniversary December 2011**

Tonight was me and Beck's two year anniversary date. Yesterday, Friday, was our actual anniversary. Cat brought us brownies at lunch. They were tasty. At the dentist office when I was in the waiting room I was reading an article about long lasting relationships. I was bored and the reading material is really limited. So I read that after a couple has been together a while, they have to prune their relationship. The article used a lot of really dumb gardening references that I will spare you. The bottom line is that you have to keep things fresh, partake in common activities, and make sex fun. So, obviously the article was for middle aged married women. Beck and I have been having sex for like six months so were good on that front. We have it all figured out now and we're really comfortable with it. Anyways, what I took away from the article is that life must really suck when you hit middle aged. I could relate to the article in the fact that Beck and I have been really busy lately. Since it is our anniversary I thought it was a good opportunity to take time to "prune" our relationship. That's what anniversaries are for. In fact, I had asked Beck, when we were celebrating our oneyear anniversary, why bother. He assured me that it was important to take some time and remind each other why you are together. It was a good excuse to have a nice dinner, if anything. He also reminded me it was a good way to say to others,"Hey we've been together for x amount of time. Look at us and look at your sad single self." That was music to my ears. He really knows me. Thus, I am pro celebrating anniversaries. Earlier tonight we went to a fancy restaurant. I had the shrimp alfredo. They couldn't even bother taking off the tails. Why would I want the tails? Seriously, no one wants the tails. Take them off. Beck told me that when we are rich famous Hollywood players he will slip the waiter extra money to have the chef take off the tails. I look forward to that day. After dinner we drove to our spot in the desert where we ate dessert and listened to our song, "I Got You Babe" by Sonny and Cher. It's super cheesy but it was the first song we danced too. He called me babe for the first time as a joke but it stuck and we've used the term ever since. We then had sex in his car. Don't judge. Where else are we supposed to do it? Sex in a car is a teenage rite of passage. Also, I will point out that car sex is a learning opportunity. Lesson number 1: wear a skirt if you plan on getting lucky. It just makes things easier and quicker, which is important since you're in a car and people could be near. I won't write about the other lessons car sex have taught me for I would have to be detailed and whoever one day reads this can learn for themselves. To sum it up, dinner, nostalgia, and car sex sum up a well spent anniversary.

**The Ping Pong Team Plays Beer Pong December 2011**

It's the time of the year when everyone is out of town skiing before Christmas or hitting the crowded malls. Beck's parents were skiing with his aunt and uncle for the weekend. They let him stay at home by himself, shocking, although they strongly suggested he invite Andre over to spend the weekend with him. Sure, two teenage boys home alone sounds like a great idea. The Vega's are doing their Christmas shopping. Cat's spending the night with Tori, since her parents are picking up her brother from a "special hospital" for the holidays. I don't want to have a sleep over with Cat around Christmas time. She is obsessed with the holiday. Although my plan was to tell my mom I was spending the night with Cat and Tori and Vega's house. I was actually spending the night at Beck's. We were all hanging out at Tori's house super bored. We were suppose to watch a movie but couldn't agree on what to watch. Robbie did some stupid spinner on his pear pad and it selected Cat. Cat chose that we watch some movie about princesses so we were all bored. We, Beck, Andre, Tori and I, received texts that James Johnson Kennedy's parents were out of town skiing so he was having a party at his house. James is alright if you ignore that his name sounds like a law firm. He lives a few blocks away from Beck so we drove to Beck's and then walked over. Beck and James were pretty good friends in middle school. As soon as we got to the party Andre took over as DJ, playing music as quietly as possible so the neighbors wouldn't find out about a party. Beck and I partook in some spiked punch. Tori and Cat hung out with some of the girls outside so that Tori could avoid Ryder Daniels. She embarrassed him so I don't see why she wants to avoid him.

The party was pretty tame. However, Robbie always screws everything up. Ryder Daniels and his friends were there playing beer pong. But Robbie was watching and laughed when Daniels missed the ball and tripped so he started messing with Robbie and told him he ought to play a round. Some idiot shouted, "Hey puppet boy is on the ping pong team, right." Beck, at this point, tried to intervene because Robbie's not the type that mixes well with alcohol. Also, Robbie looked like he was about to pee himself. Then, the same idiot from before, shouted,"Hey isn't Oliver on the ping pong team too?" Since Beck's not a wuss like Robbie he had to accept the challenge. They were playing in teams of two and as Robbie was about to repay Beck's favor by joining him I stopped him and joined Beck's team. I made Robbie hold my purse. I figured Robbie wouldn't be able to hold his alcohol and everyone else nearby was already drunk. He also has terrible aim. I also made them use clean cups. I guessed we might as well both be drunk. Everyone has to get drunk at some point, right. Neither Beck nor I have a ton of experience with alcohol but we have more than Robbie. We had to play against Ryder, who has it out for any of Tori's "friends" for humiliating him earlier this year. Ryder was already a little drunk as was his partner Brian. Beck and I won. Well, does anyone really win in beer pong?

Anyways, we may have won but it made us both drunk for the first time. According to Andre and Tori we are both very friendly drunks. Beck was drunk enough to call me Jadey in public and I was drunk enough to let him. I also may have called him Becky a few times. Beck and I went back to his house and Andre drove the rest home. We put on some coffee to help us sober up. We also made out. Before we went to bed I felt soberer but obviously my impeccable grammar skills were not back since soberer sounds stupid. Soberer is actually a word but it sounds stupid so it shouldn't be a word. Webster's should confer with me on these matters. This morning I woke up a bit confused and the first thing I said was, "André." That caused Beck to become wide awake. I guess I know how to wake him up if I ever need to. His freak out ended when he saw why I had said his best friend's name. Andre was asleep on the floor to the right of me. Apparently, after he had dropped off Tori and Cat he had gone back to the party because he got a text saying Keiko had arrived. "Andre never turns down fun with Keiko," stated Andre. To make a long story short Andre ended up getting drunk when he too was dared to play beer pong. When we started the fake ping pong team we were naïve freshman. We didn't know that by the time we were juniors we would be dared to play beer pong at every party. Everyone thought since we were on the ping pong team we would make the game interesting and competitive. So a drunken Andre knew that Beck's family keeps the spare key, under the gnome, and fell asleep. We understood what had happened. It took us a few moments for clarity to hit and ask why he was sleeping in Beck's room when he could have slept in the guest room or on the couch. Andre claimed that he vaguely remembered letting Beck know he was sleeping over and Beck tossed him an extra pillow. It landed at the end of the bed so Andre assumed he just decided to lay down there. He couldn't exactly remember. Suddenly Andre remembered that Robbie had gone back to the party with him when he had received Keiko's call. I swear Andre is so girl crazy that his common sense goes out the window. No one in their right mind would bring Robbie Shapiro back to a party willingly, especially round two of a party. Andre then panicked and asked, "Where's Robbie?" At this point we received another surprise when Robbie emerged from under a blanket on the floor at the end of the bed saying that his tummy hurt. Luckily, they were both gone within an hour and a half. We agreed to not speak of it again.

Beck and I were a bit hung over but by afternoon our weekend alone was salvaged and we were able to spend one more night together. I called my mom to tell her Cat, Tori, and I were extending our sleepover. We had to finish our horror movie/princess movie marathon. Obviously I would want horror movies and I could stand to watch some of the princess movies Cat liked, such as Princess Bride, Ever After, and the Princess Diaries movie. I'm so glad I can lie well. The key is to make it realistic with facts and details. In all actuality, Beck and I ordered in Chinese, had a Dark Shadows marathon, and did exactly what a boyfriend and girlfriend do when they're alone and lying to their parents.

**Coffee, Crickets, and Christmas December 2011**

Well, it is that time of year, again. Holidays can be so annoying. Between stupid decorations, annoying family members, ditzy shoppers, and people that start celebrating way to early I could do without any holiday. The only thing about holidays I like is the food and no school. Gifts are nice if they are good ones, they hardly ever are good. This "holiday season" wasn't completely awful but it had its moments. It certainly started out horrible because Sikowitz made us do a secret Santa gift exchange. I would have just not participated but the person that gave the worst gift had to go Christmas yodeling with Sikowitz. Thanks to Vega we had to suffer through Sikowitz Christmas yodeling three long songs. Will she ever learn to keep her mouth shut? To make matters worse I was Tori's secret Santa. I had so many ideas for what I could get her. However, those ideas would be the cause of me joining Sikowitz's Christmas yodeling and many would result in jail time or school suspension. I ended up helping her and Cat perform the Christmas song Andre had gotten a F on. Mr. Anthony rethought the grade and gave Andre an A, so my gift to Tori was a success. Cat was my secret Santa. She managed to get this Christmas on a much better path when she got me the actual scissors used in the movie The Scissoring! I have never received a better gift. While this was going on I had to deal with a grumpy boyfriend, which does not suit Beck! The boy can be calm anywhere anytime but if he doesn't get enough sleep he gets grumpy and annoying. Some stupid cricket was keeping him up all night for like two weeks. I told him to just call a bug murderer but he wouldn't. "It's just a cricket Jade I'm sure it will be gone soon enough or I will find it." It was not gone soon enough so I had to spend our classes together elbowing Beck to stay awake and letting him copy my notes. He couldn't sleep in the guest room, the living room couch, or the den because he had an aunt, uncle, and cousins visiting. I tried to be a good girlfriend so I got him coffee to help him stay awake. It backfired as he got addicted and he couldn't get enough. This made him all jittery and jumpy as if he were Cat. Luckily, Andre caught the cricket as his gift to Beck. Beck had fallen sleep after the performance so I was nice and let him sleep on my shoulder for a little while until I woke him up and drove him home. He was still exhausted and fell back asleep. I left his house so he could get some rest but I first sent him a little picture to wake up to so he would remember what he missed, me in a skimpy Santa dress.

**Holiday Party Time December 2011**

Well, it's that annual time of the year when holiday parties are held. Beck's parents had a gathering that some of his family was attending. Since at Thanksgiving Beck told me I should put my acting skills to good use when I was around his family I decided to do so. I entered the party and warmly said hello to everyone. I was on my best behavior, I made small talk about the weather, I smiled, I made comment about the beautiful holiday décor. Beck dragged me outside and asked me what the hell I was doing. I explained to him I was doing what he asked me too. I was being nice to his family. He told me it creeped him out. We compromised that I would try to tone down by blatant honesty and any hostility I was feeling. In exchange, if I was getting to honest, dark, or whatever Beck would give me a signal. It seemed to work for the rest of the party. I mean I won't be getting any Christmas cards from these people but they didn't kick me out.

**Once Again It's Christmas December 2011**

It is officially Christmas break. As a baker Beck's mom was super busy and as a dentist Beck's dad had an increase in cavities due to all of the extra sugar consumed at this time of year as well as chipped teeth due to all of the ancient fruit cake. My mom was busy with holiday benefits for the museum. Benefactors are extra generous this time of year. This allowed Beck and I a break from our parents supervision. We first made up for some lost time in between the sheets. We did our Christmas shopping, which was super stressful. Shoppers are numerous and the workers are all cheery. There is loud cherry music and stupid flashing lights. Fat men in Santa suits are walking the streets. If it was any other time of year they would be arrested. But no, since it is Christmas it is socially acceptable and they are paid to don red suits, fake beards, and talk to children. I hate shopping in general, especially over the holidays. In order to put me in a good mood for shopping Beck sexed me up before and when we came home I gave him some sex for putting up with my hatred of holiday shopping. Our little system works well. We also ended up helping Cat bake cookies. She couldn't do it at her house, don't ask me why I tuned her out when she whined about the reasons and begged to come over. So we had to help her bake and make Christmas presents because she is incapable. Cat ended up falling asleep at some point with her hand in beads and her head on a sugar cookie. Beck let her eat too much sugar, once again. As pay back I made Beck clean up the kitchen. I got bored so I used some of Cat's jewelry making stuff to make Beck a necklace with a J on it so it would remind girls who he belonged too. He made me a bracelet with a B on it.

**Christmas December 2011**

Christmas is finally over! It was mostly terrible. I was able to go to Beck's for like an hour on Christmas Eve. He gave me a present early so I had something nice happen before dinner with my family. He gave me an awesome scissor necklace. It was perfect! I had to spend this Christmas at my father's house, the courts choice not mine. My mom went to Napa to be with her mother for the holiday. This Christmas was with my dad, Kelly, Ben, my grandmother, my aunt Elizabeth and uncle David and their annoying girly thirteen year old Megan. I hardly ever see anyone from my dad's side of the family as he never does. My dad's side of the family is not close and basically only sees each other on holidays, at funerals, and will readings. My dad and his sister and brother in law do not get along. They have never been close so gatherings are infrequent and always awkward. My grandmother just sits around cold faced and disapproves of everything. I actually felt sorry for Kelly as the way she cooks, cleans, decorates, and raises her son is never good enough. I'm not surprised because according to my grandmother my mother was ill equipped at those tasks as well. My grandmother prodded me on my life and was not afraid to express her disappointment. Apparently, I am a gothic wiccan because of my mother. She also said that my boyfriend must be equally as troubled and an "Ozzy what's his name" wanabee, otherwise how could I have a boyfriend. She only hoped that Benjamin would turn out better since his mother comes from a decent family but is a beach bunny she wouldn't hold her breath. My cousin and I had to share a room so we could get to know each other better. She spent the entire time talking about how weird my room was, how cute my boyfriend is, all of the "totes" cute and uncute boys at her school, her backstabbing ex friend, and god knows what else. I yelled at her to shut up. She had the nerve to yell at me and say that I was just jealous of her. Apparently, I had no friends and must spend a lot of time on my knees otherwise I wouldn't have a boyfriend. I grabbed her by the arm and locked her in the basement. When her parents, grandmother dearest, and my dad took a breath from arguing they noticed her screams from the basement. My dad said I had to let her out. I said I wouldn't until she apologized. My grandmother and aunt and uncle then berated him on what an undisciplined spoiled brat I was and they were going to call the police. Kelly came out of hiding from the kitchen and unlocked the door. She made extra keys because I use to lock myself in rooms a lot. She then said everyone needed to lay off and if they paid attention none of this would have happened. Having the two girls share a room would of course end in disaster but no one listened to her! While, freaking out on them the smoke detectors started going off as the pies began to burn. My grandmother insists that the pies be made fresh right before we eat them even though no one has the time or energy to make homemade pies right after dinner is over. Everyone, except grandmother and me, went to help clean up the mess in the kitchen. Kelly kicked them all out. I actually am beginning to gain some respect for the lady. I went to go find solace in my room and throw all of my cousin's stuff out of the door but Ben had woken up from his nap and was crying since no one had noticed. I took pity on him and offered to take him with me to go buy some pie for Kelly. I wanted to get out of the house. Kelly said I could go to Beck's after as my father had refused to allow me earlier. I had been invited to go to Beck's for dessert and to watch a Christmas movie with his family. My father of course refused and acted like I was scum of the earth for even asking. Ending the night next to Beck eating pie and watching Christmas movies, even though his parents were there, was a nice ending to an otherwise horrible day. Whosever idea it was to have holidays be about spending time with family is insane, unless they're the Cosby family because they seem like an okay family. The Cosby's put on performances so they can't be too bad.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**The death of 2011!**

The death of 2011! Beck dragged me to a party that everyone who is anyone at school is attending, even the Vega sisters and Robbie. It's at fellow junior Eli Walker's parents beach house in Malibu. All our parents think we are at Cat's house. If are alibi involves Cat's house our parents won't call us, come looking for us, or press us for details. They too have heard too many stories about Cat's brother. Cat's alibi is that she is at my house. Cat's parents are tired, look at who their children are, so Cat can actually get away with lying to them, which says a lot because Cat is a terrible liar. I picked her up at her house and did most of the talking just in case they got a clue. The party wasn't so bad. Luckily there was no beer pong. I'm just happy to get out of the house and spend time with Beck out from under his parent's watchful eyes. The party had been going smoothly, there were no out of control drunks, Beck and I took a walk and got in some make out time, the music was decent, and the cheerleaders made fools of themselves playing quarters but none dared to flirt with Beck. None of our group was drinking, as Andre and Beck were the DDs and I wasn't going to drink alone, as for Tori, Cat, and Robbie they are wusses. Robbie had a bad introduction to alcohol at the last party. Robbie coming to a party is always a disaster but he'll keep coming if he can get in the door because he "might have a pretty in pink moment." His words not mine. He would be the Anthony Michael Hall character in this scenario. He didn't clarify, he should've, but then I guess he wouldn't be Robbie. At about 11:00 Jake somebody dared Robbie to drink a shot of tequila straight down but it went straight back up. He was probably dared because Jake had overheard Cat saying, "That's so impressive Dakota Matthews can drink apple juice so fast." Robbie, desperately trying to impress Cat, accepted the dare. Robbie was in charge of looking after Cat for the night but since his attempt at being cool failed miserably he went missing, probably looking for a bathroom. This lead to Cat getting her hands on what she thought was cranberry juice. She started acting more hyper than usual by the time Tori found her and concluded that she drank wine. How could this night be saved from a drunk Cat and a sick Robbie? Well, it was more or less. After I finished helping Tori shove water down a wiggling Cat's throat and Beck and Andre finished doing the same with Robbie it was almost midnight. Beck had confided in me, transparent locker remember, that Robbie was hoping to get a midnight kiss from Cat. That was no longer happening, unless Robbie was grosser than we all thought as he had been vomiting minutes earlier. Also, Cat would not remember anything in the morning. As the countdown was almost over Beck found me and we kissed as if we were in a movie. I would have slapped him for that cliché sappy moment but it was a good kiss so I was ok with it. Afterwards, we all went to get coffee for Robbie and Cat, if you consider what they drank coffee. The next morning I had to deal with a hung over Cat. She was a lot more quiet than usual so that made up for her being hyper drunk the night before. Seriously, you know how hyper a sober Cat can be so multiply that by three and you get a drunk Cat. It was bad. Real bad.

**Tori Tortures Teacher January 2012**

I'm just taking a few minutes to write before I go to bed. I'm exhausted and I have to be up early tomorrow. I've spent the last few days text fighting Beck. We were regular fighting but Beck said he didn't want to have a screaming match so I started texting him and he texted right back. How did the fight start in the first place? Well, Beck and I ran into Alyssa Vaughn. She was all fake nice to us like nothing had happened. That pissed me off which pissed off Beck. We then started to fight about Tori, cheerleaders, last Thanksgiving when I made his family cry, my being late for everything, and a few other things that I can't even remember. By the time the text fight phase of our fighting began we were merely exchanging quips, bitter banter, sexual puns, and one upping each other. After a particularly graphic text, which pristine Cat saw unbeknownst to Beck, Beck thought we should use code words, just in case anyone at school saw or his parents got the urge to snoop in his text. Therefore, we used tacos as the code word for sex and so on. For so often having each other's backs and often being partners we can get oddly competitive with one another. When a competition emerges there is little that can be done to end it. We will go into overtime and a referee is useless.

Beck and I made up about thirty minutes ago. We were doing homework at my house when our fighting, with verbal words, resumed. My fingers were tired so I resumed with the yelling. Beck decided we would resume our argument tomorrow, when I was "In a better mood." Beck left but was knocking on my bedroom door two minutes later. He had something new to add to our fight, I didn't lock the house door and therefore didn't think things through. I added that he didn't think things through because if he did he wouldn't have kissed Tori freshman year. We both realized we were being ridiculous at this point but we were still angry because of all of the adrenaline. We started making out. I stepped away to lock the door. My mom had already had a few glasses of wine and was taking a bubble bath so why not. Beck resisted for about five seconds but some knowledge on my part wore his resistance away. We were quick but thorough. If you can't read in between the lines we had "tacos". If you still can't read in between those line we had sex. Angry sex.

Anyways, while all of this was happening Tori broke Sikowitz and then tried to fix him. It was a long unnecessary process complicated by the fact that Tori inserts herself and friends into the business of others without understanding all of the facts. Tomorrow morning we are gifting Sikowitz a bunny because he misses his ex girlfriend's bunny.

PS: Sikowitz missed Bunny his ex girlfriend's pet cat! Thanks a lot Tori!

**The Gorilla Club Part Two January 2012**

For some reason I invited Vega to The Gorilla Club. I figured she would run out of there crying. She is so stubborn and determined to achieve everything that she passed the gorilla. She did get hurt and has trouble sleeping now. It all started when Tori wanted to audition for a different kind of role. She doesn't want to get type cast as the good girl and wanted to branch out and test her acting abilities. She discovered that she is not a risk taker and needs to expand her acting abilities. Beck, being so serious about acting, just had to offer his help. He helped her prepare her monologue for two nights in a row. He also coached her at the Gorilla Club. We kept missing each other, I would be babysitting my little brother and when I got done he would still be at Vega's or vice versa. We haven't spent a lot of time together lately and I've been forced to spend more time at my father's house so I'm not in the greatest mood. As revenge I invited Vega to the Gorilla Club. As a side note I did enjoy the bet Andre and Robbie lost against me during the group's card game. Whenever I pressed play they had to do the hammer dance. I enjoyed annoying them with that song and choosing inopportune moments to hit play. I'm going to go watch American Idol now. I like to watch the audition process. I don't understand why people think Simon Cowell is mean. I would be way more mean. I would also say some mean things to Simon Cowell, such as did the dryer shrink your t-shirt and get your hairy British self out of here, why are you even judging Americans?

**Complications February 2012**

I haven't written lately because so much has happened that I don't know where to begin and thinking in coherent thoughts is difficult. Each word I write in this journal is supposed to be truthful and telling myself the truth right now hurts. If I'm honest with myself it started a few months ago, that is when Beck and I started to unravel. I guess I've been more of a gank than usual. I've been on edge and ready for a fight. My dad and stepmom are constantly fighting, divorce seems imminent. I walked by a restaurant and saw him having lunch with some woman. My stepmom and half brother have been spending a lot of weekends at her parents' house in Santa Barbara. My dad tells me I don't even have to bother coming over on those weekends since he is just going to get caught up on work. My mom is actually doing well for the first time in a long time. She has a serious boyfriend with a supposedly terrific family that invites my mom and I to family dinners. He's a decent guy and I should be happy that he makes her happy but it's always been just me and my mom, even when she was married to my dad. I feel like I'm losing my place in my dad's family and my mom is disappearing from our family and getting a new one.

As junior year is coming to a close senior year is vastly approaching. Besides saying, "Jade take that jewelry out of your face," my dad is talking to me about going to college. He'll actually pay, even if I major in something related to the performing arts as long as I minor in something that will allow me to have a successful career, "Once you graduate and won't be able to live off of me anymore and must face reality because even the most talented people fail in Hollywood you'll be happy you either double majored or minored in something practical and useful." My father has even set up a few college tours this summer here in California. His alma mater, Stanford included. A weekend trip alone with my father is the last thing I want to do. I don't think I've been alone with my father since I was twelve. All this future talk has me a little freaked out. Three years ago I never thought that I would have to factor a guy into my making a decision. I've always had a strong feminist streak. But I do and I want to. I can't imagine my future without Beck. We haven't really talked about it, which worries me that maybe he isn't thinking about it. Every time we have dinner with his parents they make subtle hints about Beck's future and high school being temporary and real life and "friendships" starting after. They've even included personal antidotes about how in high school they thought those friendships and relationships would last forever, "Now I hardly keep in touch with anyone I went to high school with and thank god Elliot Smithson and I broke up because then I never would have met your father Jim." I hope the future means I can lose Vega and Robbie.

Both Beck and I are busier than ever. He landed the role in a community theatre play and already has another lined up this summer. We're swamped with homework, projects, rehearsals, and SATS. We've hardly had any alone time since my mother is actually happy for a change leaving her out of reasons to escape suburbia. She's even cooking dinner for me and her boyfriend. Beck's mother has found reasons to stay home from work more and give Beck ridiculous errands to run decreasing time spent with me. This started after she unexpectedly came home from work early and caught Beck and I a bit out of breath with rumpled clothes and guilt looming in the atmosphere. Beck was grounded for a week and got the sex talk as we weren't supposed to be alone in the house. His mother even called my mother and tried to politely make sure that they were on the same page about the kids not being unsupervised. Luckily, she hadn't walked in a few minutes later when our clothes would have been in a pile on the floor. My mother politely stated that she agreed and always tries to make sure we are supervised but teenagers will be teenagers and no one can watch their kids 24/7 especially when they have a license, but she would have a talk with me. In return, my mother informed me about the call and told me to be careful and more cautious. All of this means we are both being overworked and undersexed. That is not a good combination when it comes to sexually active and hormonal teens. Our usual bickering seems more like fights now and we don't even have the time to make up. A few of our fights at lunch caused Robbie to tear up and Cat to run away. Whatever. Lately, when Beck and I are in a fight instead of calming me down, like only Beck knows how , he's fighting back, which makes me angrier therefore making him angrier and the decibel level of our fights increase on both ends. Then we had to help stupid Sinjin with his stupid game show at the school assembly because as Beck said, "Jade, we should be helpful, it's the right thing to do." We had a fight in front of the audience and Beck said he's not happy with our relationship. When it was over I stormed out with Beck following. Sinjin tried to give us the trophy for being worse couple so I grabbed it and threw it down the stairwell which also caused Sinjin to trip and fall down the stairs. Beck then yelled at me for not thinking about the consequences of my actions. I swear sometimes he acts like my father. During the car ride home Beck apologized for losing his cool and asked if we could just talk. I ignored him and then slammed the door in his face when he dropped me off at my mom's.

The next day at school he dragged me into the janitor's closet to talk. We fought. Cat passed out. I stormed out. Beck texted me and asked if he could come over so we could do homework and calmly talk. I'm scared that he's going to want to break up. I mean he said that he's not happy with our relationship so maybe he's just going to get it over with tonight. Katie James, a cheerleader that would love to have Beck to herself, told me this morning that the clock is ticking on our relationship. All I could do was glare at her and call her a skank. I feel like I've lost all control. Usually when I have that feeling Beck is there to help me but I feel like Beck's lost all control in our relationship too. I'm angry and I just don't know what to do anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**The Worst Couple February 2012**

10…. I was holding my breath and staring at the door. He didn't open the door. He didn't come after me. I had pushed him away. I reached for the door handle. My hand stopped a centimeter short of grasping the handle. I needed to open the door and calmly apologize, tell him that I love him and can't imagine my life without him, and promise that I'll try to be better. We've been together for three years and I can't throw it away. But my hand never grasped the handle. If Beck didn't open the door why should I. What if opening the door leads to him rejecting me? I'd fall completely apart in front of him and everyone else. So I walked away from him, from the only constant in my life for the last three years. Why? Because of pride I guess. I'm always on defense. I just had to be the one to do the breaking up. He wanted to talk things out but I fought him at every opportunity. I was too afraid that if we talked about things he would see clearly and come to the conclusion that we should breakup. So I gave him an ultimatum. Let's be done talking about this or lets be over. He didn't open the door. I wonder if he even bothered to take one step towards the door. I got in my car, I had drove that night to Tori's because I like to drive in the dark and I don't like that guys constantly drive their girlfriends around, and headed towards my mom's house. Beck had come over earlier in the evening, we did some homework, and got into a fight. He claimed our friends didn't want to be around us anymore and were at Tori's playing cards without us. So we ended up at Tori's. He was right. I am suppose to be staying this weekend at my dad's in Beverly Hills but that is the last place I want to be. I stormed into my house. My mom and her boyfriend were on the couch watching a movie, surprised to see me. I went directly to my room and shut the door. Everything seemed like a blur and distant. My heart was heavy but my mind was empty. Suddenly my mind was brought back into reality when my mother called my name and knocked on the door. I ended the night crying in my mother's arms. I had promised myself that I would never cry over a guy because of all of the times I saw my mother crying over my father. When I was a little girl I use to try and comfort her but when I got a little older I thought she was weak and pathetic and vowed to never act that way. That was before I met Beck. That was before the jaded girl with the cold heart fell in love. Every time my phone beeped or rang I had hoped it was Beck, it was just Cat and Tori. For the first time tonight I admitted the truth and said the words that I will soon have to accept and get use to saying, Beck and I broke up. This time is different, I can just tell.

**The Break Up With No Make Up February 2012**

It's Sunday night. It's been two days since Beck and I broke up. I've spent the time staring at Beck's number on my phone. I haven't called him and he hasn't called me. I looked at his slap page, no activity. I grabbed my car keys to drive to his house at least twice. I decided to walk to his house at least three times. The farthest I got was opening my front door. The weird thing is that I wish Beck was here comforting me and I am hurt because of him. My mom called my dad to tell him that I was staying the rest of the weekend with her. I could tell he was furious by overhearing my mom's end of the conversation. That was probably the first time they have talked in a year and a half. On Saturday night after I noticed that I was still wearing our necklace I was prepared to show up on his doorstep and beg him to take me back but as I was walking down the stairs I noticed my tear stained face and how pathetic I looked. Cat and Tori came over on Saturday afternoon and we watched t.v. I told them I was fine. Even naïve not all there Cat knew I was lying. I couldn't stand the sympathetic look on their faces so I assured them that I felt lousy but would be fine in a few days. I wonder what Beck is doing, feeling. Sometimes it is hard to tell with him because he is always so damn stoic. Is he hurting too? I'm afraid he is relieved. Everyone, even my father says it is a wonder he can put up with me, could put up with me. That is why I haven't showed up on his door step or called him. I don't want to find out that everyone else is right. Tomorrow I'll have to see him at school. My mother says I could stay at home and face everything on Tuesday. I would love too but by not showing my face everyone will know why because our break up was public and a few of our "friends" or their "sisters" have big mouths. This thought made me angry so I logged onto the slap and changed my relationship status. I figure making our break up public might as well fall under some of my control. Everyone thinking, including Beck, that I am fine with the break up is one of the few things I can have any control over. Beck changed his relationship status an hour later.

**You Spread Love in the Air and I'll Spread Mace February 2012**

You may be wondering if I am more bitter than usual on this Valentine's Day that finds me single. Well, I have never cared for the holiday, even when I did have a boyfriend. And yes I am feeling a tad bit more bitter than usual. Everyone thought I was so lucky to be dating the best looking guy in school but it had its drawbacks and so does no longer dating that guy. For starters, now that we are broken up I have to deal with all of the whispered rumors as to why we broke up, such as: my witch spells wore off, he's dating someone better, he's dating Tori Vega, he's dating Trina Vega (that was certainly started by Trina), he's casually dating the entire cheerleading team, I left him for a prisoner, I left him for my tattoo artist who is also on parole, or that he suddenly wised up and realized that I was a bitch (I suppose that holds the most truth). Now since it is Valentine's Day I have to deal with girls slipping him Valentine's in his locker and a few have boldly given him some in person. Amanda Hunter even had the nerve to ask me if I had received any Valentine's from anyone. I told her that luckily I hadn't received a gift like she had, Chlamydia, which prompted me to start a rumor that she has Chlamydia and her social life will be in complete ruins about two hours from now. While she will spend the night crying I will spend the night doing, I don't know what, but I will be fine unless I find out that Beck took some girl up on her offer. Anyways, I have the house to myself as my mom has a date. Am I upset that my own mother has a date on Valentine's Day and I do not? No, especially since she offered to stay home with me. Does she think I am pathetic? I don't need my mommy to stay at home with me. I like having alone time. I don't need other people, even on some stupid holiday that people think is all about love. Ever heard of the St. Valentine's Day Massacre? Cat wanted me to invite Tori over and have a single girls party with the three of us, apparently Taylor Swift does it. Stop. I have to throw up. I'm back now. Apparently Cat thinks I've lost my mind because that is so not happening.

P.S. Cat and Tori came by my house. Tori claimed that Cat told her that I had agreed to the party idea. They brought a lot of chocolate so I let them stay. I told them they could stay for the length of one movie and that if anyone found out that I spent Valentine's Day with the two of them there would be hell to pay, as in did you hear about what Amanda Hunter has and I can make you get it too. I also informed them in great detail about the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. My little story definitely made Cat hold Mr. Purple close and Tori kept giving me sympathetic looks all night as we watched a movie. I told her to knock it off. Sympathy is for losers. Cat informed me that I could go on a date with her brother anytime. Her brother would be up for a real date and he would even be down with a fake date that's sole purpose was only to make Beck jealous. I will admit that I have done a few pathetic things since The Breakup but I would never be desperate enough to go out with or even use Cat's screwed up psycho freak brother. We then continued the movie. You see Cat and Tori offered that we watch a horror movie since it was very anti Valentine's Day, which is the last thing I wanted to watch as Beck and I always watched a horror movie on Valentine's Day. Their suggestion may have upset me and I may have locked myself in the bathroom for fifteen minutes or so. Alright, I did do those things. So we watched Fatal Attraction, that movie where the husband has an affair, the mistress goes nuts, and he ends up killing her. A romantic comedy would probably make me throw something at the tv and a love story, even the one's where they don't end up together and one of them dies, would probably make me cut up my mother's curtains. Nah, they would definitely make me do those things.

**New Routines February 2012**

It has now been a week since Beck and I broke up. We have managed to successfully avoid each other. I haven't eaten lunch at our usual table, even though I sat there first on the first day of high school so it is technically my table. I've either eaten with Cat or in the black box theatre, where Cat will show up to eat with me. Tori even ate with us the first day and again later this week. Cat has been following me around like a lost puppy and Robbie seems to be doing the same to Beck, not that I've been paying close attention. I get to classes we share together early and Cat or Tori or both sit next to me. Cat and Tori brought over cupcakes to my house on Monday afternoon. I tried my best to ignore Cat nervously scrunching her eyebrows and Tori's sympathetic looks. We silently did homework and Tori sent me a text that night telling me that she's ready to listen if I need to talk. I wasn't even mad at her for that. Even our teachers have noticed that Beck and I are on the outs and haven't paired us together for any assignments and our English teacher said nothing when we both sat in different seats. Sikowitz offered me some coconuts. Andre's given me sympathetic looks and Robbie nervously runs away from me when I end up at my locker at the same time as him. Once Rex put a hand on my shoulder I threw him off. On Wednesday, I was leaving the library and Beck was coming in and our first hellos were exchanged. I have heard several rumors as to why we have broken up. They included that I'm a witch and my spell on him wore off, he finally got tired of me, and even that he found someone better. He looks fine like nothing happened. Is it because he is a good actor or because he is fine? I have to try my hardest to appear fine, maybe I'm just a bad actor or maybe I'm broken beyond repair. Even my own mother feels sorry for me. She's been staying at home this week, watching movies with me, and cooking my favorite meals. My mother suggested that I hang out with Cat on Friday night. She has a work thing. I can't even remember the last Friday night I spent without Beck so I invited myself to dog sit with Cat. I hate dogs. I'm so pathetic.

**Earthquake (Andre's Horrible Girl) February 2012**

Tonight was interesting. I dog sat with Cat, truly ironic. Anyways, I broke stuff and Cat called Robbie to fix it. That is how I know she likes him as more than a friend because he can barley work the zipper on his own pants and he is who she called for help. Beck showed up with him because of course Robbie would have to call someone that is actually helpful so he can look like he's helping and save face with Cat. So Beck showed up to fix something I was responsible for breaking. I am completely aware of the irony. Beck actually had the nerve to confront me on the date I was supposed to be on according to my slap page. I know a fake date is a classic pathetic ex girlfriend move to make but he confronted me on it so it worked. He still cares, at least a little, and everyone else that read that post will think that I am not pathetic and moving on. An earthquake happened and I had to watch Beck protect Cat. OF course Cat can't protect herself, last time an earthquake happened she exclaimed that the earth was jumping and she started to jump as well. More stuff broke and Beck and I took the lead in covering up that some of the items had broken prior to the earthquake. As we left Beck asked if everyone was ok while looking at me. I said fine and took Cat home.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**A Plan March 2012**

I have decided that instead of sulking I am going to reinvent myself so to speak. Not like change who I am but rededicate myself to performing and writing. I have also decided that I want to be valedictorian instead of just the top five as I previously was in the number three position. Currently I am number two and am developing a plan to become number one by making Luke Neilson not do so well on the pre cal test next week. If I get a 96 or above I will be raised to number one. I haven't decided what method I will use, it will of course involve me scaring him. The inner type A in me is coming out when it comes to academics. I have a lot of time on my hands and I might as well use it to dominate the school in every way possible. I've been spending a lot of time with Cat lately but I now refuse to go to her house. I caught her brother wearing my bra and then he lit his jacket on fire and ran into the shower. I was in that shower! I've started eating lunch with the "gang" again, not everyday, just on days in which I feel my tolerance level is up. It's something I knew would have to happen eventually and I wasn't going to wait around for an invitation from Beck along with the whole let's be friends speech, which still may be coming. Tori and Cat had mentioned me eating with them again and Andre even texted me saying I should join them for lunch and if he could borrow a pen for English. I know some people think that I only hung out with them because of Beck and that's probably true but I hung out with them before Beck and I dated so if I cease all ties it will look like I did so because I didn't want to be around my ex. Beck and I had also promised Cat, Andre, and Robbie when we started dating that if we ever broke up it wouldn't tear our little group of misfits apart. Spending time around Beck is strange. Not spending time around him is strange. Having someone be an important part of your everyday life since you were fourteen and then barley acknowledging their existence is difficult. I realized that I didn't just lose my boyfriend. I also lost my best friend. It's cliché but true. I have to walk a very fine line around him. If I don't treat him like everyone else, via insults, then it makes him look special, like I still have feelings for him. If my insults are too callous or numerous it looks like I'm a bitter ex. I don't know how Beck thinks of me. I don't even know what I think of him. The gang makes no mention of our past or current state. Someone always sits between us and tries to fill the awkward silence. I can count the number of times Beck and I have spoken directly to each other on one hand.

**Car, Rain, and Fire March 2012**

I just got out of the shower so I thought I would write about my night while I warm up and finish my coffee. My mother says that I shouldn't drink coffee so close to bed. It is probably why I don't sleep well. I don't care. I don't need a lot of sleep anyway. I spent the night driving Tori and Cat to San Diego. Cat's favorite actress died so she wanted to pay vigil at the actress's house. I've never been to a dead lady's house so I allowed myself to be talked into driving Cat and Tori. My dad took away my car. He does that when I break the rules. Lately, we have been at each other's throats. Apparently my attitude is a major problem and I will get nowhere in life if I don't shape up. So when I get mouthy my dad takes away my car. I drove Cat's brother's car to San Diego. I tried not to listen to Cat as she droned on about the latest exploits that landed her brother in a special hospital this time. I had to spend the drive listening to Cat and Tori yak about their boring science project. I had that class last semester but you don't hear me blabbing about my science project. I got a break from the science talk when it started to pour down rain and the convertible top did not lower. We pulled over at the next exit and tried to pry down the top. There was a bag of fake feet in the trunk. Even the naïve and weird Cat had to admit her brother is pretty weird. We got the top down but it had no cover. As Cat put the car was topless, this is really clever for her. We speed away when a creepy clown approached us, unbeknownst to us at the time we had pulled over at a clown college. When we finally got to the dead lady's house Cat lit a candle. The dead lady appeared being quite alive. Apparently the actress was cast in "The Dead", a t.v. show. She was not dead. You think by now I would know that one should always question everything Cat tells them! Now I just got a private message on The Slap from Tori saying to keep quiet about the fire at Mona Patterson's house and I see other posts saying that Trina and Beck kissed. I guess I am going to have to slap a certain brunette!

**Tori and Jade's Playdate March 2012**

Tori and I are playing husband and wife. Yes, let the lesbian jokes commence. Now that I have successfully floored you I will explain. Sikowitz wanted to teach us that a good actor can rise to the occasion and play any role and that there are no small parts. He feels that there is too much competition when it comes to casting parts in HA plays. Apparently Sikowitz drank some bad coconut juice because he forgot that life is a competition and show business without competition is like Los Angeles without air pollution. It just doesn't happen. Our crazy teacher assigned us roles by making us randomly choose a role in a box. I ended up being Nancy Swain, wife of astronaut Walter Swain. Walter suffers from narcolepsy. The play sounds insane and like one of Sikowitz's coconut hallucinations but it is actually a rather popular comedic play. It was once off Broadway. Let's get back to casting. Beck and Andre are my identical twin sons. I refuse to even comment on that insanity, it is obvious they are not identical twins. Tori Vega plays my husband. Sikowitz wouldn't let her out of it because some of the best performances have been portrayed by someone of the opposite gender. Not that Vega is capable of that anyways. Since we hate each other, or I hate her, and she desperately tries to be my friend while simultaneously hating me, we had trouble playing a believable married couple. It was awkward enough having to share the stage with my ex let alone be married to Tori. Long story short Sikowitz made us go out to dinner, these two creeps flirted with us, and we sang them "Take a Hint" so that they would take a hint, but apparently they didn't because they showed up opening night. You're probably wondering why I didn't just scare them away. The truth is at first I was too shocked. Most guys are just hesitant of me just because of how I dress so before they get the nerve to approach me they witness my behavior, which makes them run and or pee in fear. I have also always been on Beck's arm since I was old enough for boys to come up to me so they never had an opportunity to approach me. Tori and I ended up evading the loser boys and hid out behind the auditorium until we thought the coast was clear. Tori decided to get all sappy and tell me that she didn't have an awful time being in the play with me, I agreed with her. She then ruined the moment by asking me about how I was dealing with the whole break up thing and that I could talk to her if I needed too. I chastised her and stated that we should go change before they lock up the auditorium.

**Spring Break March 2012 **

Spring Break has come and gone. Tomorrow school starts again. I spent the vacation engaging in weird sleep patterns broken up by writing, reading, and watching t.v. and movies. Cat was out of town for most of the week visiting her brother at a special hospital, Tori's visiting her grandparents (like I would hang out with her anyways), Andre is probably babysitting his grandmother, Robbie is probably at a star trek convention or whatever losers like him do, and I don't care what Beck is doing. I was fine to indulge in reading, writing, and tv watching. They are some of my favorite things to do and I finally had a chance to catch up on them. My mother did manage to drag me out of the house so we could have bonding time via shopping, lunch, and a movie. It was fine. I just wish my mom would stop complaining that I often keep as she calls it, vampire hours. I like to write and read at night and as a future writer and actor I consider watching movies and tv part of my learning process. So stop complaining mother!

**Driving Tori Crazy April 2012**

I played an awesome trick on Tori earlier this week. So Trina is a terrible driver, big surprise since she's so great at everything else. Sarcasm intended. Tori, a junior in high school, still doesn't have her license. The Vega sisters had to take a longer route to school because there shooting a movie down the street and Tori refused to ride with Trina. Everyone has been giving Tori rides and each ride ends up being more miserable than the next. Andre has to drop off his grandmother at the senior center everyday to be babysat and she is crazy, so enough said. When Northridge girls heard that Beck was offering Tori a ride they showed up at his house asking for a ride to a school they do not even attend. I'm sure you can guess how I feel about that. I offered Tori a ride, which she cautiously accepted. I took her on a scenic drive through the desert, hummed a creepy song, and had a shovel laying on the backseat. As you predicted she jumped out of the car. That's what I would have done to those stupid Northridge girls, left them in the desert. Don't worry she wasn't that far from a bus stop. I think that may be the greatest trick I ever did pull! My little prank is also helpful because I am writing a script that has a similar scene in it so taking Tori on a ride helped me work out emotions and logistics. Today, thanks to Cat's latest obsession, coupons, we got to take a party bus to school. The bus was driven by this 90's rapper, Dr. Rhapsody, who is now a has been and drives a bus. You know, sometimes I look around Hollywood Arts and think to myself: Some of these people will make it, they will get their 15 minutes of fame, and then be a washed up has been that drives a bus.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**The Elephant In the Room April 2012**

One day at lunch Robbie commented on how great it was that things could be so normal now. "We can all hang out without it being awkward and tense. Beck and Jade can hang with us all without me wanting to cry from the tension…." . Then luckily Rex stepped in and berated Robbie for putting his foot in his mouth and making things all tense and awkward. There are some things that even Cat is smarter about than Robbie. I got my revenge by cutting off a few of his baby bottle nipples on his locker. The truth is that things are still awkward and tense. Things are less awkward but it still persists. Someone still sits in between us at lunch, Beck and I, nor any of the group, ever directly mention the fact that Beck and I were once a couple. We still hardly ever speak, especially directly to each other. We rarely even say simple things to each other like, "Pass the salt" or "What grade did you get on the history exam." Will things ever be different because it often feels like we're ignoring the elephant in the room? We act like we are strangers, not two people that know everything about each other. Perhaps one day we will be two people that use to date that are still friends and it does not feel like we are lying to ourselves. Although, being friendly exes doesn't sit well with me. The elephant in the room feels more like it is sitting on me than crushing me. This must be a sign of progress. Sometimes I am able to forget about the elephant altogether, not for long, it always comes back.

**How Trina Got In April 2012**

Trina simply walked by us at lunch leaving our ear drums in a state of torture and not the good kind. Cat brought up the question of how Trina ever got into Hollywood Arts. We then spent the day rehashing how we each heard the story of Trina's acceptance into Hollywood Arts. I was pleased to hear everyone's account and tell my own as lunch had gotten pretty awkward. Tori, Robbie, and Rex were absent from our table, which surprisingly contributed to the lack of conversation and the awkwardness in the air. I actually brought up the topic of deadly spiders. My spider fact was really cool because it was about a badass spider but bringing up a science fact is more like something Robbie would do. That is how awkward the silence had gotten. It made Jade West bring up science facts. So Andre, Beck , and I told the story of how we had heard of Trina's acceptance. Beck and I got a bit snippy with each other, which has been happening more often lately. It seems that as the awkwardness lessens the bitterness increases. The great Beck Oliver thought my story was farfetched. Well, his story was no beacon of truth either. When we got to Sikowitz class, after discovering why Tori smelled like fish, he told us how Trina got in. It is Sikowitz fault. He was high off of old fermented coconut juice and accepted Trina into HA. Thanks a lot Sikowitz!

**Tori Wins but I Don't Exactly Lose (Tori Goes Platinum) April 2012**

Los Angeles was hosting this awards show called Americans in the Media and Arts, it's like the third cousin twice removed from the grammy's. Sounds lame but they were holding a contest in which one person would be picked to sing at the show. They wanted to create more buzz around the ceremony so that they could get picked up by a local cable affiliate and have air time. Lots of people from the industry would be, well only union members from certain music industry unions. Tons of people at school were sending in audition videos, myself included. I figured it would be a good opportunity and I have been throwing myself into performing since the break up. Shocker, Tori Vega was picked! Anyways, the Americans in the Media and Arts wants to get more recognition and be better respected in the industry so they get more publicity. This meant they wanted to turn their contestant winner into a Lady Gaga wantabee that acted like Lindsay Lohan. Sweet Tori Vega of course wouldn't dare misbehave so Beck helped her stand up to the awards show people. Then, they picked me to take her place and continue dressing like an idiot. I would have said no, I don't want to be anyone's second choice, but getting something that Tori got taken away from her made the idea appealing to me. When Beck said, "No way", like I wouldn't dare take Tori's spot the deal was sealed and I became their new idiot. They wanted me to wear this stupid pink frilly outfit so I told them to go ahead and light the outfit on fire but they threatened to get rid of me too. They gave me long sharp nails so I dealt with it.

The night before the show technology illiterate Cat and Tori left their web chat on and I saw Beck comforting Tori. He leaned into kiss her and she stopped it. Not him. She stopped the kiss from happening because she couldn't do that to me. The girl I have gone out of my way to torture wouldn't risk hurting my feelings. The boy that told me he loved me wanted to kiss my enemy. Does he like her now? How long has he liked her? Has he liked her since she started HA? Did he ever really love me? What would have happened if they had kissed? If they started to date everyone would say about time the pretty and nice girl and boy got together. I wouldn't be able to hang around the group anymore, I just couldn't do it. Beck's parents would be thrilled that their son had such a nice girlfriend. No one would care about me. I would be forgotten, just the pathetic ex girlfriend that lost her ex to her frenemy. No one would call sweet Tori Vega out on breaking girl code. Not when I was the girl whose ex boyfriend she was dating. I would have nothing. My heart broke all over again. It was like reliving the break up all over again. When I first closed the lap top I tried to hold it in but I couldn't I was so angry at Beck. I broke something I don't even remember what and then I started to cry. Cat witnessed my outburst so I told her I had something really big in my eye and my eyes were watering profusely. She then asked me what profusely meant. I let her comfort me until I regained control and told her that it was out of my eye now.

The night of the show Tori came into my dressing room to wish me luck. I couldn't perform. It was suppose to be her night. She couldn't betray me so I couldn't betray her. As Tori started to perform I sat in the only empty seat next to Beck. He smiled at me like he was proud that I did the right thing. He looked at me like he used too. I couldn't help but smile back. In that small short moment as I looked into his eyes some of my anger towards him dissipated. He did love me. We may be over and he may like Tori but he did love me at one point and I find comfort in that. That bit of comfort fades in and out. I still ended the night with my head on my mother's lap crying. Crying out of fear that I loved him much more than he loved me. Crying from the fear that no one will ever love me again. I know that I am in high school and have my entire life in front of me. But I don't exactly like other people or get along with them so someone falling in love with me and vice versa would be difficult. Before Beck I never thought I would need someone to love me. I was never that boy crazy girl. I was perfectly content not having a boyfriend. That's why I never thought that Beck would end up just being a boy in high school that I dated. Now that I know what it is to have someone love me I feel like I have lost something significant, a part of my soul is missing. I realized that I've been waiting for Beck to come back to me and his trying to kiss Tori means that he's been trying to move on. Tomorrow and every day after that I vow to sincerely try to move on, even if I have to fake it until I make it, I will get past this and Beck Oliver will just be a fond memory. It's time to face reality.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Bunnicula April 2012**

I love something. It is a black and white rabbit I named Bunnicula, after one of my favorite books of childhood. My mom bought me a bunny since I was pretty bummed over the whole Beck thing and Beck trying to kiss Tori thing. Who would have thought that I would love that little pooping machine? Well, he is perfect, except for that constant pooping thing. Unlike a dog or cat he doesn't demand attention and jump on or lick you. He's always calm. He eats his vegetables. He has the cutest brown eyes. His fur is so soft and fluffy. He's just nice to have around. His face is adorable. His is just the cutest thing ever to exist. I love my bunny and I don't care who knows!

**Crazy Ponnie May 2012**

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. That is the phrase that describes this week. Let me start with the best of times. Everyone thought that Tori was losing her mind. She claimed to have made a new friend, Ponnie, but we never heard of nor saw Ponnie. Also Ponnie is not a real name. Unfortunately, it turned out that Ponnie was actually a former HA student named Fran and she wanted revenge on Tori because she thought that Tori took her spot when she was kicked out of school for being crazy. Ponnie was really crazy and got arrested. I do have to give Ponnie credit for making Tori look crazy. I'm ashamed of myself that I never thought of making Tori look crazy. I also wonder whatever happened to that doll of Tori that Ponnie had in her book bag. Anyways, those few days that Tori seemed insane were a great few days.

Now onto the worst of times: Cat waxed off my eyebrows. She made me look like an eyebrow less freak. I spent the night at Cat's house and we partook in a few girly activities. Cat wanted to wax my eyebrows for me and I allowed it. Now, Cat is prone to screw things up or say she can do something but not actually be able to do it, like the quadratic equation or standing on one foot. But, hair and makeup is one of the few things Cat can do well and I know in her stage make up class she learned how to do eyebrows and she passed. Before I got the chance to look in the mirror Cat was gone. She made up an excuse about her brother and left. When I looked in the mirror an eyebrow less freak was looking back. Cat waxed off the majority of my eyebrows. I spent the rest of this week trying to get back at her. Beck and Andre spent the week pulling me off of Cat. At lunch Cat claimed that only me in hand cuffs were going to keep her safe so Beck and Andre got some handcuffs from the prop department. They may have been props but were very difficult to get off. I could have gotten them off but I wanted to strike when Cat was least expecting it. I chose to eat with Cat so that she would have to look at what she did and be in constant fear that I would strike at any moment. When Beck handcuffed me to the table I remember thinking that I never thought he would be handcuffing me to a table in the middle of the asphalt café so that I wouldn't hurt someone. I always thought that me, Beck, and handcuffs would be associated under different circumstances. I hate that Cat runs to Beck for protection, like he is the only person that can save someone from my wrath! Well, he wasn't there to protect her when she fell asleep in the library. I used my favorite scissors to cut off a few huge chunks of her hair. When Beck saw her with the missing hair I saw him touch his own precious locks, thankful that I never chose to alter his precious hair as revenge. It was worth it. Now I just have to wait for my eyebrows to grow back while I wear the fake eyebrows I stole from the makeup in the theater department. Cat will need a new hairdo to attempt to cover her missing locks.

**Grease Lightning May 2012**

I was recently cast in our school's production of Grease. I was cast in the role I auditioned for, Rizzo. Can you guess what role Tori and Cat are playing? Tori's playing Sandra Dee and Cat is playing Frenchie. That is definitely casting the actors to fit the characters. I have now incorporated Sandra Dee's accent when I make fun of Tori. "Oh, I'm gonna wear my best poodle skirt to the dance tonight. " Yeah, I'm really enjoying that. Andre is helping with the music. Robbie is working with the crew, where he belongs. Beck didn't even audition for the play because he's trying to concentrate on Trigonometry. He needs to get a really good grade for college applications and he has to get through Pre Calculus next. The boy is not good at math and I have always helped him in the past. I guess I didn't do him any favors by carrying him in math all these years. Occasionally he would cheat off of my papers. Beck always joked that it really damaged his masculine pride to cheat off of his girlfriend but I encouraged it. He was so slow sometimes and I wanted to move on to the next activity like making out. Now, I have this feeling. I think it's called guilt, that he's going to fail math because of my dirty urges. It almost makes me want to offer my tutoring services. However, if there is one thing I know how to do it is sweep my feelings under the rug. Now, due to this play I have to carry Ryder Daniels. He is playing Kenickie. In case you're wondering, Daniels is still a big jerk and not that great of an actor. I had to take time out of my schedule and life to help him with his lines. I had no choice but to help him since our characters are together and therefore have scenes together. I'm not going to let Daniels ruin my performance. I have to carry him in his performance but the audience won't be able to tell. I hope not at least. Ryder has also made a habit of flirting with me. He told me that when he was thinking of asking out a junior it should have been me instead of Tori. I couldn't argue with that, however, I pointed out that he only asked out Tori because he was using her. He tried to smoothly reply that he only would have used me with my permission, he would get a lot more from me (true), and we could rule the school together. I'm not going to lie and say that I wasn't tempted. Bickering with Ryder reminds me of bickering with Beck. I miss bickering. Ryder also isn't a bad kisser. But I know it would be a total hurt self destructive dumb girl move to date Ryder. I could tell myself that I wouldn't get hurt since I knew his game and can take care of myself. But going out with Ryder wouldn't solve anything. After having the real deal I couldn't' settle for a dirt bag. I remember when Beck and I first started being friends my mom, as mother's do, asked me if I was interested in him. I vehemently denied it. I told her I wasn't interested in having a boyfriend but if I ever got one he would be different. I had spent all of middle school convincing myself that I would never need a boyfriend and that all guys were jerks. But pretty quickly Beck resolved me of my man hating ways. He was the first male to ever prove to me that their species can be worthwhile. He wasn't a perfect boyfriend but in truth he was a great enough boyfriend that I have no interest in dating a jerk like Ryder. I have standards. I like nice guys, gasp. Maybe I'm screwing myself over. I don't foresee a lot of nice guys scrambling to fill out my dance card. So, because of these standards I told Ryder that if our scene wasn't in two minutes I would kick him in the balls. Ryder countered that I was a firecracker. Our scene was next. We had to make out in the scene. Ryder totally groped my boob during the scene. I wasn't going to ruin the scene so I subtly stomped on his foot. As soon as we were off stage I punched him in the arm. He tried to defend himself and claim that he was only making the scene more realistic. I told him to learn how to read because that was not in the stage notes. I was tired of him so I threatened to tell the principal that Daniels groped me and that I could find plenty of other girls to tell their horror stories involving Ryder. It was the only way I could put him in his place. After that I only had to deal with his wandering eyes as fifties costumes really know how to accentuate. I didn't appreciate his wandering eyes but I could deal with glaring him down.

PS I hadn't heard that anyone noticed that Ryder groped me, the teachers apparently didn't. A few days later I did overhear Robbie tell Tori that Beck noticed. Robbie was asking Tori if she had noticed or if anyone on the play had said anything about it. I know it's sick of me to care but I did smile at the fact that Beck still noticed and cared whether or not someone else groped me.

**Jade Moves Away Or So I Let Everyone Believe May 2012**

Last night my mom tells me that her boyfriend, Frank, talked to her about moving in together. I was not happy about it. It's always been me and my mom. Even when my parents were married my dad was always working, on business trips, with a mistress, or my mom had kicked him out because he was having an affair, or he left because he and my mom were having a fight. The bottom line is I like it just being the two of us. When my parents finally got a divorce my mom and I moved into an apartment for a few years before we moved into the house we now live in. My dad lived in an apartment as well but whenever he got me for an overnight visit (hardly ever) we would go to his mother's house. When my father got remarried to Kelly he suddenly expected me to spend more time at their house, even though he was hardly ever there. It was and sometimes is really strange to be under the same roof as someone you don't even know but their suddenly family. Kelly's family also frequently visits, which is even more awkward. I know it's selfish to want my mom all to myself. Frank's not too bad. He makes my mom happy. He has decent taste in movies. It's just that a lot will change. I'm not a fan of change. If we all three leave together it will be awkward. I don't like when things are awkward for me. I like when things are awkward for other people. If a boy lives with us I have to be fully dressed all the time, knock on doors, we have to eat real dinner food, the freezer will be full of meat, and things will just be different. We can't just eat salad for dinner because boys don't do that. Will my mom and I still have nights where we eat Chinese and laugh at soap operas? Will we have nights where we are exhausted and just eat popcorn for dinner while we watch tv on her bed? Will we ever finish that puzzle we started when I was fourteen? Can we just suddenly decide to go to the mall? Will I have to say, "Good Morning Frank," because I hate that expression and I don't really like to talk to anyone in the morning? Oh my God. What if my car's blocking someone in so I have to move it? There won't only be two cars in the driveway anymore. Also, Frank has a son. He's divorced and his son is already in college but when he comes to visit will I have to share a bathroom? My mom asked for my opinion on the matter. I told her that it would be different and I'm not looking forward to that day but I wouldn't change the locks on Frank or anything. Then, I stomped off to my room to cut something up.

So as you can imagine I was not in a good mood this morning. My entire life may be changing. Cat asked me what was wrong. I told her I might be moving because my mom and her boyfriend want to live together. I went about my day. Things were going normally, well as normal as things can get at Hollywood Arts, when Tori came up to me with that pathetic sympathetic look on her face. Andre and Robbie were next to her. They told me that they were sorry to see that I was moving. Robbie offered to help me pack. He said he had his own tape. Andre told me he would buy my lunch today. Tori just looked at me stupidly and tried to hug me. I shoved her away. Sikowitz came by us and told me that he was disappointed I was leaving because I would have been the perfect lead in the next play. He also told me to come by his classroom later for a coconut. He told me he didn't share coconuts with just anyone. Honey is to Winnie the Pooh as coconuts are to Sikowitz. I think his coconuts are all fermented. But he didn't offer Tori any coconuts. From the things they were telling me I learned that Cat had misunderstood me. Cat thought I was moving some place far away and would no longer attend Hollywood Arts. I let everyone keep on thinking that. I don't know why. I was just getting so many things I wanted. At lunch, as I was enjoying my free meal, Tori started this stupid speech about how we didn't always get along but she still considered me a friend. She claimed that Hollywood Arts would miss me because even though I may have made several students pee in fear, I set the bar for success high. Cat kept trying to hold my hand and she had started to sniffle. Sinjin came by to give me back a sweater. I had been missing that sweater for two years. Apparently I had left it in class one day and Sinjin had swiped it. I'm going to burn it now. I don't want to know what he's been doing with it. They all started to reminisce. Cat brought up something her, Beck, and I had done together. That made me voice what I had been thinking all this time. Where was Beck? I mean what or who was he so busy doing that he couldn't come to my going away lunch? He couldn't even make an appearance? I mean Sinjin parted with something that was really special to him in a really creepy way. Based on his eyes he loved that sweater more than he loves the teeth of the dead relatives of famous people. By the way, never look into Sinjin's eyes. Tori freaking Vega's on the verge of tears and Rex is keeping his pathetic freaking mouth shut. Beck couldn't even show up. I don't care that much. It is just proper that one shows up to their freaking ex girlfriend of two freaking years' going away lunch. Alright, I may care. My little freak out left the table speechless. Cat covered her ears. I tried to make them move on to the next topic but they got even sadder. Tori was telling me that he was probably avoiding this because he's a boy and boys aren't good at this stuff. Andre agreed. Tori then started to dive back into her stupid speech. I couldn't take it anymore. I explained that I wasn't moving faraway. They all misunderstood. I tried to leave this cry baby fest. But they confronted me and asked why I let them all think I was moving away. I tried to tell them that I wasn't aware until a few minutes ago that they were under the impression I was leaving HA. It didn't work so I told them all that they embarrassed themselves and I fled the area. When I was walking inside the school I bumped into Beck. He told me he wanted to talk to me. He'd buy me some coffee. I was really keyed up from lunch so I angrily told him he was late and his stupid friends stupidly thought I was leaving HA when my mom and her boyfriend are only thinking about moving in together,, in our house. I shouted this as I was stomping my way down the hall. He was following me but quit when I walked into the girls bathroom. Now, I kind of regret telling him the truth. I wonder what he would have said to me.

PS My mom told me she made a decision. She wanted to wait to move in with Frank. When I went away to college they would discuss the subject again. I feel relieved. I want my mom to be happy but I just really hate change, ok.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**The Blonde Squad May 2012**

I've been busy lately with The Blonde Squad. It's Beck's end of the semester project. He asked Tori, Cat, and I to perform the lead roles. He already had our parts picked out for us. I am playing the dumb blonde. Yes, me not Cat. I was not pleased. He probably just picked that role for me to amuse himself with how much I would hate it. He knew I would say yes to the role because I'm not going to turn down a leading role (for a decent project anyways) especially when Tori is one of the other leading roles. I'm not going to let her have the entire spotlight. Unbeknownst to anyone else I also said yes to the role because if I can get through this project, working closely with Beck, it will be good for me and my moving on plan. Of course , the short film itself was an idea Beck and I had talked about when we were dating when we had been watching and talking about all the dumb blondes on tv and lady detectives that they always make look really sexy. We concluded that it was unrealistic and almost comical. There are reminders of our relationship everywhere. I got through the short film rather effortlessly and looking back things were rather normal on set instead of tense and awkward. On the plus side Tori wanted us girls to go eat dinner at Nozu in our blonde wigs. Cat found a guy that was totally into her. She, being an airhead, forgot to mention that she was not blonde. He of course dumped her for lying, well he is actually also really into blondes. Robbie sang Cat a song to make her feel better and show her how much he cares. The only thing Cat got from it was that she should dye her hair blonde. Tori thought the guys would flock to her blonde self. One guy did come to her. He only wanted to borrow her soy sauce. She made a complete fool of herself.

**Wankos Warehouse June 2012**

Wankos Warehouse had this huge sale. Normally I think standing in line next to materialistic valley girls and suburban moms is stupid but I had my reasons. One, I have said no to a lot of the gangs activities since I am no longer dating Beck. I no longer have to be persuaded into hanging out with my boyfriend's friends so I frequently exercise my right to say no but if I say no too often people will think it is because of Beck. Two, my mother was going to her boyfriend's parents house for dinner and I was invited if I didn't have previous plans. I don't want to have dinner with my own family let alone someone else's family. Three, I was interested in scoring some deals on organizational items as I am organizing my closet currently. Trina organized the outing but got one important thing wrong. The sale didn't start until the next morning. Never trust a Vega with anything. I suggested that instead of waiting in line with idiots like Sinjin and Burf we should sneak inside the store and hide. We get our shopping done that night and will be the first in line at the cash registers while everyone has busted through the doors and is shopping. My plan worked until the security lasers came on and trapped us in the store. Robbie is the flattest and most tech savy so we slid him under the lasers so that he could turn them off. Meanwhile, everyone was giving me a hard time because my devious plan had failed, we had some hurdles to overcome. Beck and I started bickering, which we have been doing a lot more lately. I thought we were supposed to get along better broken up, whatever. We were interrupted when I screamed out that I wanted a sandwich, I get extra bitchy when hungry, and Cat ran to go get one setting off the laser. We all ran out of the store wearing tubs over are head so that the lines of people wouldn't recognize us. At the end of the night we all ended up at Waffle House.

**The Hambone King June 2012**

Next week are finals. I've spent the week finishing up and presenting projects. I'm not worried about finals. I always do well on tests and I don't even have to listen closely or take a million notes in class to pass a test. But since I want to be valedictorian I will be studying extra hard. I even joined a study group for chemistry. I took a break from studying and went to Nozu with Andre, also in the study group. Andre and I can't study for chemistry at his house because his grandmother thinks I'm a vampire. Robbie and Cat were also there and someone threatened to beat up Robbie. Yet, once again I am expected to intervene. Andre could have handled it but he claims that he doesn't want to get into a fight without back up. However, when we got to the alleyway we discovered that we didn't need to pull some sweaty guy off of the weak Robbie. They were going to have a dance off, quite the let down. This dance off allowed me to learn an embarrassing fact about Tori this week. She used to do this dance called The Hambone. She had a hambone partner and entered in competitions until he started hamboning with someone else. Robbie posted a video online of him hamboning because he's a big dork. It is a stupid dance but Robbie actually did it well considering. Although I'm sure even Rex could hambone. The self proclaimed hambone king, who use to hambone with Tori challenged Robbie to a contest. Thus, they were going to have a dance off in the alley. Did I mention that hamboning is basically slapping yourself? Well, Robbie is a wimp and was terrified of losing a stupid hambone contest. I do give him credit for not backing down to the challenge. Tori coached him, Andre worked with him, and I even helped. Beck brought Robbie a watermelon and Trina sat on Beck's lap, which did nothing to help Robbie. Cat tap danced. Whatever. After about five entire seconds he asked Trina to move. She refused and he eventually picked her up and moved her. It's not like I care. Trina annoys everyone and I just think that Beck is a pushover. If I was in his situation I would have shoved her off or at least yelled at her. But Beck always has to be so freaking polite and diplomatic.

Tonight was the night of the hambone off. Things were going well until the hambone king's new partner threw sushi at Robbie, making him mess up. But don't worry because Tori saved the day and hamboned one more time beating her old partner. She was victorious again. It's not that I would have wanted Tori to lose against her old cheating partner it just sucks that Tori got to save the day. It's not like I wanted to save Robbie, I would never do that. I don't know why I feel this way. I don't know. I just do.

**Goodbye School Days June 2012**

Today was the last day of school. Sikowitz spent our last class going on and on about the spring break he spent performing in the streets and subways systems of New York. Finals were a breeze. I got all As. Everyone was busy discussing their summer plans at lunch. They had nothing interesting to say though. Cat is spending some time with her uncles in San Francisco. Beck is going to that acting camp in Vermont his parents have been pushing him to go to. Andre got a summer job in the mall food court. I actually feel bad for him. Tori and Trina are visiting their family in someplace I don't care about. Me, well, my mom and I are going to New York!

**Here I Come NYC June 2012**

It's summertime. I definitely won't miss anyone at school. I am going to New York with my mother. Neither of us has been and we have always planned on going, we've talked about it since I was like eight. We finally are going! We have planned out the trip in great detail. The Met, Broadway, and all of that typical New York touristy stuff we will be doing. We are also going to Philadelphia for a day. Be jealous! I think I will really enjoy New York. Most people say New Yorkers are harsh, fast, and rude. They sound like my kind of people. Perhaps I will find people I do not actually find disgusting.

**New York, New York July 2012**

I am back from New York. New Yorkers are my type of people! It was great being there. It is not constantly sunny, it doesn't smell like fresh cut grass constantly, everyone is in a hurry, and I only thought about LA stuff once. When my mom and I were watching this amazing Broadway play for a brief second I found myself thinking that I wish Beck was here to share this with me. Will there ever be a time when I don't think about him? Anyways, I would love to move to New York, go to college, and be on Broadway at one point. That's my new plan. I'm thinking about going to college there. My mom mentioned it to. We're not sure if my dad will pay for me to attend college in New York considering my major will be centered on the performing arts. My mom said she would support whatever I choose to do and she would even talk to my father. I wish I could be across the country on the day that conversation occurs.

**Cell Block July 2012**

I just got back from my grandmother's house. My mother and I went to spend a few days with her before I had to be back in LA to start the Hollywood Arts summer play. The play is called, "Underwater." It takes place in a submarine. Robbie plays my husband. He better not screw this up. Sikowitz was tired of his students being more focused on their cell phones than the summer play. The others wanted to talk to friends, watch videos, text, and blah blah blah. I use the internet to give my unsolicited opinion and insult others. Sometimes it is much more convenient to do so online instead of in person. Anyways, we ended up being on boy girl teams, which was unfair because our team had Cat. I pointed that out but then Beck pointed out that the boys team has Robbie, like I care! Cat was being handled under the close supervision of Tori and myself. We had to put Cat on a leash, which she chewed her way out of as she used a dog toy cell phone to make fake calls. Cat was losing her sanity quickly, which was sad because I always thought it would happen more gradually. Since Cat was on our team we were forced to use manipulation to get the boys to lose. I would have used manipulation regardless but I had to talk prude Vega into it. She thought we should play fair but after Cat chewed through her leash she came over to the dark side. Tricking the boys didn't work, apparently Beck told them to prepare for manipulation. He just thinks he knows me so well. I totally hate that he does. Also, Marsha Baxter scratched Beck literally at my feet. Apparently she texts Beck constantly and he will text her back asking her to stop. Well, he couldn't text her back because of the no phones ban so she tracked him down at rehearsal and literally scratched him at my feet. He asked me for help trying to get her off of him. I simply told him he can't have it both ways. You can't be upset when I get jealous and then when we're broken up expect me to help you extract some crazy bitch off of you. Ultimately, we underestimated the boys because we were tricked. Sikowitz tricked us and joined the boys team. The boys were gloating. It was sickening. They looked like idiots. I would have stayed mad but at least I could use technology to vent my frustration again.

PS Robbie was able to not destroy the play with his ineptitude.

**Last Days of Summer August 2012**

I had to spend last weekend at the beach with Ben, my dad, Kelly, and Kelly's sister and brother in law, as well as their children. I don't do the beach so I spent most of my time reading, writing, or watching Ben. There were a few other babies there as well, Kelly's niece and nephew. They were cute-ish but still in the slobbering phase. You think after all this time they could develop something that would stop the flow of saliva from the mouths of babies. I don't see why I had to be there anyway. My father annoyed me into coming. I decided to come along just so my father would shut up about my antisocial unappreciative self. Finally, the weekend ended and I got to come home, to my mother's house. In other news, school starts in two weeks, senior year. I took the SATS again last weekend and I am so close to a perfect score. Senior year starting should be an exciting time but that excitement was recently damped when I learned that Trina Vega failed senior year. So, I have to attend school with her for another year! No good will come of this.

_Thanks for reading. Please review so I know if I'm a decent, atrocious, or swell writer. Also let me know things such as: Should I post all of the chapters at once or do a chapter at a time? Do I get Jade's perspective across? Are my chapters too long? I've gotten very few reviews on my previous stories in the series so any review or advice would be appreciated. Senior year will be coming up next._


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